black imagination meets blaxploitation...

so i kind of wrote this in a rush today.. instead of doing my finals- ha!

there's a poster from the blaxploitation era that i love (see above) ... for a movie called "Black Girl". ive never seen the movie but the poster and quote are dope... so I wrote a little monologue-y thing. i was thinking abt using it for something.. but for right now, its just another little thing i wrote. so enjoy. :)

(pst- actual blog post to come)

---



She's got to cut it... or cut out.

Shes a Black Girl
... your girl.
(poster for the movie "Black Girl" (1974)

you know, i got dreams of kickin white ass the way they do in those movies from the 70's. stickin it to the man- yea! in my mind, i am foxy cleopatra jones brown sugar honey iced tea. and boy do i look goooood. i got on these tight white shorts, the sailor waisted kind? and ive got these crazy boots that come all the way up mid thigh and a little leather jacket with not much underneath? yeah, and ive got this huge ass afro, cuz you know i gotta stay true to my roots.

worrd.

i can imagine some white fool of a motherfucker comin up to me and comin out at the mouth:

well actually, my family went to africa once and built a few huts. then we took pictures of ourselves surrounded by brown babies and i put them all up on facebook. man that was a great 48 hours. africa really is a great country.

now, what usually happens in a situation like this is that i do one of two things:

1) i can close my eyes, count to ten and brush it off

or...

2) i can take the time to explain what was wrong with that statement.

but man, i dont got the energy or patience to deal with that shit anymore....
shoooot, in my dreamworld as foxy cleopatra jones brown ... you get it... i would knock that cracker out in a matter of seconds- pow, POW- give a sassy shake of the head, and keep it movin.

or now suppose im in a classroom, and somebody mentions slavery...

come on, i know some of you get what im talkin about! you're one of two black kids in a classroom, but the other kid's in the back of the room snorin or on his computer youtubin shit and the topic of slavery, or the civil rights movement, or Oprah or how Beyonce keeps gettin blonder and whiter or anything that mentions any black person in the history of the world EVER- what happens? there you were, countin down the minutes until class is over, drawin pictures of flowers and hearts and shit in yr notebook and all of a sudden you get this eery feeling that you're bein watched. you slowly look up from yr notebook and you realize that there are about 30 pairs of eyes lookin at you to say somethin. and the teacher aint sayin a damn thing cuz they're starin you down too!! What the fuck are you supposed to do with that? I mean, what's that shit supposed to be- flattery? And do you think I know more about the Black Power movement than you? I'm sittin right next to you in the same damn intro class! Fuck you! Just do the damn readings! I aint come to college to fuckin teach a class of 31 white people!

its times like these i just ask myself, what would foxy do? she'd probably roll her eyes and walk the fuck out. she probably wouldnt even be sittin in that damn classroom- what she need to know abt black power anyways? she got all the black power she needs- in that fist and that fro, baby.

it dont help that these dumb ass white folx got me feelin like more of a mammy than a foxy. some skinny white grrl stood next to me in the bathroom today and started complainin bout how big her ass was, how big her thighs were, how she didnt know what the hell to do with her hair anymore. now, first of all, im thinkin, whothafuckareyou?? second im thinkin, what are you talkin about? yr ass is flat, yr thighs dont even touch, yr blonde hair is long and wavy... and since when is big a bad thing? and what are you thinkin abt me? here i was, feelin good abt that cutie in the mirror, and yr comin over here makin me rethink how i feel abt my curvy thighs, my big ass, my short nappy crown. and now that i think abt it... foxy wasnt all that big, now was she? i mean, she was thick, but... she didnt look too much like me. she didnt have my size or my chocolate complexion... hell, she could probably squeeze into some of those american apparel skinny jeans that are so popular here.

man... every day i get reminded that i dont live in my fantasy world. i probably couldnt fit into those tiny little white shorts... my hair is way too short for a fro. and how the hell am i supposed to kick ass in 4 inch heels when i can barely walk straight with my two feet as is?

instead, i get to listen to white people drone on and on and on ... sayin a whole lot of... nothin.

friends, i want to tell yall a secret. i am tired of this world. i am tired of making the effort. i am tired of not bein seen or heard. i am tired of havin to fight twice as hard to get half as far. i am tired of this knife still stuck 4 excruciatin inches in my back, with no way to reach around and pull it out. man, i am tired of bein tired, yall.

and so... im leavin this world. dont waste yr time tryna to find me, cuz you wont. i found a way out, and im gonna create my own world, full of black grrls like me lookin for a place to call home. a whole queer black grrl nation! now, dont you worry about me, ill be fine. if i was you, id worry abt my own damn self, and how yr gonna manage in this old, jank ass world without me.

whatchu mean, im crazy? youre the crazy one! taking this shit with a smile on yr face every day. im fed up to HERE and im done with acceptin less than what i deserve. im ready to kick some ass, make love to some fine ass sisters, have myself a grand ole time, and just be happy and nappy.

oh so now yr calling me a romantic, huh? no place for queer black grrls like me? hmmph. i know im not some crazy romantic. i dreamt abt a place like this once. you know what, im not even gonna waste words on you anymore. i thought you were down. guess not.

well friends, i guess this is goodbye. i am on to bigger and badder things. ya dig?

...oh, and you can tell that finnnee lookin sister in the back? how you doin, boo? yeah, she can come too.