another love poem (by someone who is in love with being in love)

you are looking at me
like you want to know me. biblically.
you smile slow and show
your shark teeth and i am melting.
you.
are.
so.
fine.
do you know it? damn.
my eyes have
found you in the crowd again. how do they do that?
like there's some
magnetic attraction between them and that spot
between your shoulder blades. right below
the nape of your neck. i see that spot and
i want to tell you everything.
share every dirty thought i've had since fifth grade
till five seconds ago. like how
i'm imagining how soft your hair is.. everywhere.
or that when our eyes meet, and you get quiet,
your silence always sounds expectant. as if
you are waiting for me to... what,
exactly?

when you drag your feet,
i want to tell you that it's okay to stay.
that i want you here. that i am waiting for you
to whisper truths into my mouth.

man, it's been a long time.

Wanna see my div 3?

Well, you can't. Because I'm not done writing it. But here's a new scene I wrote today. Will I use it? Maybe, maybe not. Just as some heads up, it's after Claire & Adanne have a bit of a fight in bed. Claire got a little overemotional. Now they're in the living room, drinking some tea.


(Claire and Adanne are drinking tea.)

Adanne: you feel better now?

Claire: mm. (sips at tea) that was so embarrassing.

Adanne: (pause) shit happens

Claire: yeah...

Adanne: you gonna tell me whats wrong?

Claire: (pause) nothing... its..

Adanne: you know im here for you, right? (pause) claire, i lo-

Claire: don't.

Adanne: (pause) okay. (pause) did i do something? i mean, i shouldn't have-

Claire: (laughs) it's not you. i promise. (adanne looks concerned) you're so cute. (kiss on the nose) like a little momma, concerned for her baby. (adanne stiffens) you're so good to me. (claire starts to cry more, catches herself.) im sorry.

Adanne: come here. (holds her, kisses the top of her head) its okay.

Claire: (claire relaxes. sighs into her) you smell so good.

Adanne: mm.

Claire: your skin is so smooth.

Adanne: (laughs) its called moisturizer. you should try it sometime.

Claire: (reaches up to her hair) your hair is soft.

Adanne: (on guard now) you sound surprised.

Claire: why dont you ever let it down during the day?

Adanne: well, i work in an office...

Claire: yeah. if you let it down, id be so distracted. my fingers would be stuck in your hair all day.

(adanne gently removes claires hand from her hair, claire thinks this is an intimate thing, grasps her hand)

Claire: i used to want hair like yours. You know, when I was younger. I dreamed about having an afro- like pam grier or something (laughs) and like... i wanted dark skin so bad. look at me.. i feel so washed out sometimes. see? (holds their hands out together) you're skin is so beautiful. so colorful. im just some plain white jewish girl from jersey. nothing exciting about that.

---

Yeah. I think Claire might be cheating on Adanne, the bitch. But we have to wait and let the characters speak for themselves, or something. Writing a play is hard work, yall.

ahhhh

this feels weird. can i have a retake?

This is my horoscope for today and I like it alot:

"This time is usually characterized by self- confidence and assurance. You are able to see where you are going now and to obtain help in getting there. At the same time you are very concerned with knowing yourself on a deep inward level, usually to facilitate achieving your ambition.

This is a time when you try to rely primarily on yourself. You will not refuse help from others, but it is more desirable to go it alone or at least on your own. You need to prove yourself to yourself and, to a lesser extent, to others. It is also necessary to establish patterns in your life now that will lead to accomplishment later on. You must develop disciplined work habits and learn specific ways to deal with situations that arise. Here too you must rely on yourself, because you will be able to judge your effectiveness only if you know that what you are doing is entirely your own.

Most people are rather conservative in their ways of doing things at this time. You may be rather reluctant to experiment with new ways, but that is a pitfall. This should be a time for making careful and considered changes. Such changes can be made voluntarily and without much difficulty now, but later they will be forced upon you in a manner that may be quite unpleasant. Getting into a rut now will ensure the survival of inappropriate behavior patterns, which will create trouble later on.

You should specifically examine your attitudes toward authority figures, work and achievement, responsibility, change and most important, although somewhat abstract, your attitude toward reality. If you are trying to live by attitudes that you have been told to have and that are not really yours, you will feel tense and uneasy when you think about them. Normally you suppress these feelings because you consider it important to maintain your attitudes. But these are the attitudes that have to be changed, because they signify that your thinking is divided about that issue and that you cannot really put energy into making that part of your life work."

Thanks, astro.com

strange wkend

i spent most of my weekend so far in hiding. i stayed in my room friday night till 7pm on saturday. then i went to the library for a couple hours, and then to 60 to hang out with steph and jocelyn, which was fun. but my favorite part was definitely the hiding. im sad that i have work tomorrow- if i could, id do the whole thing again. it was weird having most of my friends gone this weekend, and cyree im afraid to bother because she has so much work to do, being a final semester and all.

i think this is when hampshire starts to feel lonely- when it gets too cold to stand outside and look up. i am really starting to feel like a waning moon. plus i got sick (damn.) i still need to make a div 3 calendar- take my own advice and keep myself busy and out of trouble, till the brits get here.