tired & uninspired

its been really hard to do much of anything lately. i feel so emotionally drained, even though i barely go to class, i barely do my work or even go to work... i sleep a lot. but even sleeping doesn't feel the same. not as good. more and more, i find myself not wanting to be here. i feel so much happier when i'm writing, but i haven't been able to get it together enough to write about anything. this is affecting my div 3 in huge ways.. the main one being that it's unfinished, and there's nothing that is inspiring me to write. when i get into these moods, it feels like i'll never write anything ever again. or.. i feel like i cant even remember what inspiration feels like. i read over my old work and it feels so weak. and feeling uninspired just heightens my feelings of lonelinesss... :/

right now i'm at home for break, hoping that i might be able to seek some inspiration... somewhere. maybe. i'm going to see if i can find my mammy statue tomorrow. i'm just hoping that a break from hampshire will be good for me, especially since my family drama has calmed down a lot (although, we'll see what happens during the rest of the week.)

damn, i wish someone would just send me a book of writing prompts or something. this is fucking ridiculous. it took me way too long to even feel up to writing (and finishing) this blog post! :(